Do you ever feel inadequate; like no matter how hard you try and how many times you pick yourself back up, you just keep tripping on your own feet and dropping all the balls you’ve been juggling? Do you ever feel like you have to wear so many different hats that YOU are lost in the shuffle? Do you ever look at your life and say; “I JUST WANT TO DO IT ALL!” I hate these feelings- I absolutely abhor feeling like I’m not good enough at something- ANYTHING!
I think a lot of the reason that these feelings annoy us so much is because our spirits (that were created for perfection) are trapped in human forms that are anything BUT! It’s like telling a genius he has to sit and write his ABC’s all day!
Here lately, as hard as I’ve tried, I just can’t seem to get my act together. The balls I always juggle are knocking into each other left and right. The great mom ball flies right into writer, while housekeeper rolls right over loving wife- leaving a wreck of school, dishes, and unchecked emails. Sound chaotic? Yeah, feels that way too. Sure, there are times when I get those little hacky sacks all in the air at the same time- but then… down one comes!
Sigh… humanity; it’s rough.
The thing I have to remember is that the Divine Spirit within me understands that I’m trying and if I can just keep my priorities in line and my plans straightened out, then I can at least live a life worthy of my calling as God’s own. I have so many dreams and goals in life… some will have to get dropped and others can be thrown into the juggling act when it’s time- but until then I need to learn how to balance the things I currently have a little better. I can’t expect to achieve the goal of getting published, when I can’t even make sure my 3rd grader’s homework is turned in on time. I can’t expect to teach a hundred women how to be patient when my own patience is set off by the attitude of a 3 year old! Can we learn from each other in the midst of our personal shortcomings? Of COURSE we can! However, it is ridiculous for me to expect perfection out of myself in the “side-items” of my life when I’m still learning how to take care of the main items I deal with everyday!
So, I reevaluate and take a good look at everything God has called me to do, everything I need to get done in a day, and everything I’d love to throw in there and have fun with. I have to take an analytical survey of my life and somehow figure out how to balance it all. I know we’re all in this together- I can see you nodding your head now. Since this is what I need to do, I’m setting a new goal for myself.
Instead of this being my goal list:
-Complete __________
-Organize __________
-Learn to __________
-Accomplish ________
I’m going to make my goal to simply live everyday being completely led by the Holy Spirit. It’s easier said than done- but really, is anything else more important? The necessary things in this life still play second fiddle to the One who gave us life! I will wake up everyday and do my best to be completely surrendered to the Spirit within me. Let my daily lists and desires fall where they will, as long as my Father is given control. Sure, I’ll do my best, make my plans, and work “heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men” (Colossians 3:23)– but my goal and heart’s desire will be to let all of these things take a side seat to my Abba.
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)
Will you join me today in focusing on a new goal: “LIVE SURRENDERED”? I think it’s a worthy one- and I don’t think I’ll worry so much about being inadequate… after all, Christ died to give me worth- I’m not about to take that for granted!
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