It’s amazing to me how many people, especially women, are so hard on themselves in regards to how they look. [I won’t even get into how critical people are about the way they act, think, accomplish things, etc.- that’s a different post.] I also understand that others have no problem in this area whatsoever… kudos to you! For the rest of us, this is a hard topic to admit that we still struggle with, especially as we get older and should “know better by now”. I realize that this post may be more directed toward a female demographic- but the root issues still apply.
There are, obviously, varying degrees of sensitivity on the topic of appearance, but it amazes me how many still have a hard time accepting themselves for how God created them to look. Now, before I get too many emails about this… I am NOT saying that anyone should just be happy with however their bodies are if they are neglecting health and well-being. God wants us to be disciplined and recognize that He gave us these bodies as our vehicle to do His work and live our lives in the abundant way He means for us to. We cannot do that if we do not take care of ourselves. This means eating healthy foods, exercising, staying flexible to ensure proper range of movement as we age, drinking plenty of water, properly cleaning the outside of our bodies, keeping the different aspects of our sensory health in check (vision, hearing, etc.). I know that we can’t always control our health… but the parts we can control- we have a responsibility to.
That being said, let me go back to my point (I like to military crawl down those rabbit holes sometimes)… I believe that while it is a mark of a disciplined Christian to take care of their bodies as best they can, I do NOT believe it is a mark of a faith-filled Christian to self-deprecate and mentally/verbally abuse their body at all. For example: show of hands… how many have already put on some holiday pounds? ((crickets chirping)). Yeah, you’re not alone. Now, how many- at least occasionally- get depressed, feel sorry for yourselves, cry, think your ugly, etc. all because you’ve gained a little weight or maybe you cannot gain weight? Does your appearance make you depressed? I’ve been there before so I’m certainly not pointing fingers. However, the older I get, the more I realize that a few pounds does not make or break who I am or even what I really look like to other people. MOST people are too worried about themselves than to worry about what particular lack of perfection you have to endure anyway! Whether it’s weight, color, height, teeth, skin, hair, etc. most of us have an issue with something regarding how we appear.
Let’s look at some more examples in the womanly crowd (as that is the gender I am most familiar with). Perhaps you struggle to maintain or even GAIN weight, maybe you think you have terrible skin or unruly hair, you might even be at a happy weight but dang it if your HIPS don’t quit! Regardless of whatever you think your imperfection is… I’m here to tell you it’s not as bad as you think it is. I’ll give you a perfect example: at a PTA meeting awhile back, there was a lady there whom I had never met before, but she was absolutely gorgeous! I promise you, she looked like a model and it wasn’t until later on in the evening that I happened to notice that she was quite a bit larger than the other more “petite” women (the group all ended up standing next to each other at one point). Do you want to know what struck me about her the most? Her face! She was naturally beautiful but she also radiated a humble confidence (that’s the only way I know how to describe it), and her smile lit up the room. She was beautiful on the outside, but it was her self-confidence and obvious care for herself that made her stand out. Does that mean she was in perfect health? Maybe, maybe not- there’s no way to tell outwardly- but my point is, ladies especially, others are not NEARLY as hard on you as you are. When you feel good about who you are, who God made you to be, when you are confident, take care of yourself, dress modestly and with class, and shine through your smile, there is NOTHING more beautiful!
We can have things we want to change or improve about ourselves without feeling worthless. Want to shed or gain a few pounds? GREAT! Embrace the beauty of where you are now and work on it! Do you have your mama’s nose or your Daddy’s cleft chin and wish you didn’t? Stop wishing! It’s the way God made you and you need to embrace the uniqueness that is you! Most of how we look is based on a story of where we came from of what we’ve lived through (stretch marks anyone?)… that is an incredible tool to use in shaping who we are and our testimony that we relay to others.
Let’s learn to get a grip about our hips and find out what God sees and what most others see.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
(Psalm 139:14)
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
(1 Samuel 16:7)
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
(Proverbs 31:30)
Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
(1 Peter 3:3-4)
So, what does God see? He sees an amazing creation that He handpicked, designed from His own imagination, breathed life into, created with a purpose, who could not be more beautiful in His sight. He sees an imperfect creature due to the nature we’re born with, but He sees potential and most importantly- He sees the beauty of His Son when He looks at us. How dare we nit-pick about the size of our thighs or the color of our hair?
What do others see? It depends: those who are as shallow as we hope never to be, may see and judge our imperfections… does it matter? Most people, however, see another human being and what they view on the outside will solely depend on the character you portray. Are you always complaining about how you look or commenting negatively about others? Do you walk around with your eyes to the ground and head sunken just a little too low? Do you take care of yourself and how you look, regardless of how many holes are in your clothes or the fact that it’s been a couple of days since you showered because you have a newborn at home? (Yes, you can still present yourself with dignity, even without “dolling up”). Perhaps you meet others eyes with a smile and a friendly hello- even when you don’t have any makeup on! Do you hold your head up as if to say “I know where I’m going and I’m happy to be going there!”? The people whose opinions matter, will form that opinion of you based on how you carry yourself- I PROMISE!!! Feeling good about yourself (even about how you look) is not prideful unless you use that feeling to boost yourself above others or to lower anyone else around you. It’s OK to look at yourself and say “I love how I look and I love being ME!”
To sum it up- yes, we have to take care of ourselves and be as healthy as we possibly can be in every area of our lives. Good health is a journey, don’t hate yourself just because you do not embody perfection! Beyond that, how we look is picked by a Creator that knows a whole heck of a lot more than we ever will. Let’s not act as if we know how we should look more than the God who formed us- AGREED? Go ahead and love yourself! Love who you were (even if you’d rather not remember that person- he/she created the YOU standing today), love who you are now, and love who you will become through the workmanship of Jesus Christ. Feel loved yet?
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