We’re almost to the year 2016- WOOHOO! We made it, in one piece, probably a good bit relieved that we have another year under our belt. Regardless of your opinion on the whole celebration, the idea behind the hoopla is one that I fully support: taking the opportunity to be thankful for the year behind (even if it was a rough one), to plan and set goals for the year ahead, and to reevaluate oneself in order to become a better person. I see the New Year as a great time to wipe the slate clean, create a new calendar, roll out some brand new goals, and start up an ever-evolving project list. (However, I also think this needs to be done periodically, regardless of the time of year… it’s just good sense.)
Once again, however, my nit-picky self rears it’s annoying head and finds the flaw in the plan… this time it’s the fact that so many of us set such incredibly high expectations on ourselves when the new year rolls around, that when we (inevitably) fail or at least fall short of that goal, we get depressed about our progress. I used to be this way when it came to my own, personal growth. If I had a weight loss goal, an educational goal, a familial goal, or whatever, that I failed to meet- I saw it as a huge problem! The real problem wasn’t that I missed the target and was hardly ever a lack of trying… the real problem occurred in the beginning planning session. You see, I have a tendency to set such high expectations on myself that when I do not meet them, I crash- hard; I’m working on this. I know now that while it is necessary to always strive to be the best YOU you can be, it is also crucial to do it within realistic boundaries. If you always set the bar fantastically high, you will always be disappointed.
Here is my trick for making resolutions (for whatever point in the year that they are made)… KNOW YOURSELF! Challenge yourself, set goals for yourself, and lay out the steps necessary in order to best plan for success, but ALL of this will be in vain if you do not first know who you are what makes you tick.
In years past I have set goals such as the following morning routine:
-get up every morning at 5:00 am
-have my God-time
-exercise
-then when the kids are up- fix breakfast, and start the day.
This sounds like a simple plan for a lot of people, and one that probably works for most… but I know myself better than that…now.
Here is what I know about Cassie-
1. I am NOT a morning person! I’m not lazy, I just don’t function well until I have enough time to wake up and get my day going… this does NOT happen at 5:00 am! I cannot compare myself to early-bird moms who pop out of bed with a smile and a song, exercise for an hour, then have breakfast made before the kids open their sweet little eyes. Do I wish I were like this? SURE! Do I struggle to try to put myself on their playing field? Not anymore! I have to set my morning routine and any other goals to the tune of what my body naturally dances to… if I don’t, I will most definitely fail that goal!
2. I know my character traits (and flaws) were not developed overnight and they cannot be changed overnight. That means, that I can create a goal of say- exercising more, being more patient, yelling less, always listening to my children, etc. But it’s not going to pop up and happen in a day just because I set a goal for it. I need small, tangible steps to take, in order to create new habits and break old ones. One example/goal of mine is the following: I want to listen to my kids more when they want to tell me something (even if it’s seemingly unimportant). So, instead of just saying “I’m going to listen to my kids every time they want to tell me something” and being disappointed in myself the first time I tell them to hush when they try to start a conversation in the middle of me planning dinner, I institute a plan. Part of my plan is this: if I know I’m in the middle of something or am a little too stressed/distracted to have a real conversation I’ll say something like this; “I really want to listen to what you want to tell me, but I have to concentrate on this right now… remind me after I get supper started and we’ll sit at the table and talk then.” If I forget, that’s ok, but at least I have a plan that’s realistic and the more I work on it the more of a reflex it will become.
3. I AM NOT MY NEIGHBOR! (I mean this literally and figuratively… my neighbor is an older lady who’s tall, thin, classy, and very well educated). What I mean is this- I can say with great fervor that, more often than not, I know better than to compare myself with any other woman. TV women, church women, neighborhood women, school moms, Bloggy moms, Pinterest princesses, and more… I AM NOT THEM! I can certainly learn from them, pick up good ideas, and find encouragement and inspiration, but I AM NOT THEM! I cannot put a remarkably high expectation on myself that is derived from someone else’s life! I am not tall, stick thin, extremely educated, or insanely crafty. I cannot cook like the Pioneer Woman and I do not have Michelle Duggar’s patience. I respect and admire women for their strengths, understand they have their own weaknesses, and know- in turn- what MINE are. Any goal I set for myself must be based on my own strengths and weaknesses.
Let’s realize and try to remember that, while making resolutions and setting goals is a very good practice… you cannot expect to be successful when you’re trying to be something you’re not. You are not trying to be the “All New You” or even “Be Whoever You Want To Be!” Stay who you are and simply strive to improve where you know God wants you to. You are living for an audience of One anyway, so who do you think you’re trying to impress? (I’m speaking to myself here as well). Set high goals for yourself but make them attainable based on the person you already are! Be YOU- simply a new- old-YOU.
What are you good at? Play those things up and strengthen them!
What do you want to change in your life? Think about the ways that you learn things and what types of things you are most likely to stick to… then come up with some small steps you can take to make small, trackable changes.
The New Year is a great time to make some big changes in your life: just make sure to take small steps to get there… on a path that is made for your feet.
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