Are your circles of relationships beneficial?

Today, I want to share something with you that’s been on heavy on my heart lately. Friendship. Sounds simple enough right? Wrong! It’s anything BUT simple, especially when you have friends who are different or were raised differently than you, who have different beliefs and who may or may not live far away. There are thousands of things that can alter your friendships, but who is worth overcoming the obstacles for?

  At my church Sunday, the message was about your circles. I automatically think about Meet the Fockers when Jack tells Greg that he is no longer in the “inner circle” of trust. Ha! Ok, back to church- the pastor spoke about 3 rings of your circle,

• the center ring being your Circle of Intimacy which should contain your spouse, parents, and anyone who you would trust your life with.
• The next circle going outward is the Circle of Influence, which includes most of your friends, anyone who can tell you “You look chunky in that dress” and you immediately throw the dress away.
• The last, and outer circle is your Circle of Concern, which may include folks that are considered acquaintances, or people who you’ve clicked with, but need more time before you bring them into an inner circle.

  And his question to us, Who’s in your circles and should they be there?  Now, this had my mind spinning because for the last month or so The Mr. and I have really been evaluating the folks in our life, and their influences on us. Are they doing any good what so ever? Or is it a empty shell of a friendship in name alone?  I want people close to me who are going to lift me up just as much as I lift them up, not only in the bad times, but the good times as well. I want people who will call to check in at least once a week, who will send a quick text if they have a funny story or good news about something. I need that plus the feeling of true connection, and more from someone I consider in my circles and sadly, it’s not working out that way with some of my “friends”. Just because we may have been friends for x amount of years doesn’t mean it’s a valuable friendship.  The phrase, “You get what you put in” is not correct in my life because I put in a ton and get little back. They, on the other hand, get a lot from me and only put in bare minimum.

  Oftentimes, I am the one who gets called when some one’s life gets a curve ball. I don’t mind this AT ALL, I love to comfort and talk someone through tough times. I feel like I have a nurturing spirit and if that’s what God gave me, then I’ll use it on anyone who comes to me needing comfort. Still, I feel like I only hear from some of my friends in the event of a tragedy… they’ve split up with their love, their dog died, they have to move, they don’t know who to date, they’ve had some sort of medical set back and are on bed rest with no one else around and they are bored so they call me! Wow! Really? I’m your last resort?

 Most of my friends are not in the coveted Circle of intimacy, and that really saddens me! And in all honesty, most of my friends will drift off for a few years, then get back into contact. And since I move around so much it was difficult to stay in touch… in 1999, but now- with the obscene amount of technology- there shouldn’t be any excuse! So, do they really belong in ANY of my circles? Do they uplift me? Do they encourage and support me? Do we have heart to heart chats about MY life? Do we have bible studies together? Do they inspire me to get closer to God? Do they even really pray for me like I do them every.single.night.? The answers will probably break my heart. So do I consider them dead weight and cut them loose no matter how much it breaks my heart? It’s a tough one, my friends. But don’t I deserve to have healthy friendships?